motley food

by Trish

The folks over at Food Republic have compiled an amusing list of the “Top 5 Kitchen Gadget Fails”. It must have taken some restraint to limit the list to 5 as kitchen stores are brimming with useless junk to clutter up your kitchen.

If I could round out the list, I’d like to add those ridiculous avocado slicers and the utterly idiotic Egg Pillow. I’m always amazed by the fact that not only does someone invent these products, but that they actually make it onto store shelves and shopping baskets. But I suppose as long as there are bridal showers, forgotten birthdays, and people with more money than sense, we’ll continue to see wacky kitchen inventions, yours for just $19.95. 

via 7Gadgets

by Andrew

Plain popcorn is already a pretty healthy snack alternative if you avoid covering it in excess mounds of salt and butter. But apparently these Mini Pops, which are like popcorn but made from sorghum grain, are even better. Not only are they gluten free, but they’re also lacking the outer husk that you usually end up spending half an hour picking out of your teeth after eating a bowl. That alone is worth the price of admission if you ask me.

The best part though is that the Mini Pops are adorably tiny compared to popcorn, which is probably the reason most people would pick up a bag. Never discount novelty when it comes to snacking. A 3 oz. bag, available in 8 different flavors, can be ordered directly from the Mini Pops website for $2.98, or $3.49 for the caramel covered option.

via Cool Hunting

(Photos courtesy Cool Hunting)

by Trish

We all have the friends who abide by their own clock. Love them as we may, they’re an unpredictable bunch when it comes to scheduling/meeting. They are the reason you always keep a book in your purse. They are the reason you’ve gotten so good at Angry Birds. And they are the reason it’s good to have a ready-anytime snack for when you invite them to dinner.

Besides being punctually-challenged, there are plenty of perfectly legitimate causes for being late. While it’s perfectly understandable, planning food can be tricky if you know there will be a level of uncertainty regarding time. Traffic gets jammed, transit is lousy, and people always think you can walk faster than the GoogleMaps estimate. Give yourself a break by having a nice salmon spread and crackers ready to be enjoyed whenever your friends arrive. That way your friends won’t be famished while you reheat/put the finishing touches on the meal, and you can be relaxed while doing so. You can even make the spread a day or two before, which is particularly advisable if your apartment tends to hang on to the fishy smell (as mine does). 

This recipe uses both fresh steamed salmon and smoked salmon, which gives it a nice balanced flavor since smoked salmon alone can sometimes be overpowering. You can buy those funny steamer baskets or special pot inserts, but if you don’t steam that often you can use a simple wire stand. I bought one in chinatown for less than $3 and use it with a small heatproof plate. Really, anything that keeps the fish out of the water will do. You could even try microwaving it if steaming really doesn’t float your boat. 

Salmon Rillette

This recipe is from David Lebovitz, who has written a number of cookbooks and has an delightfully witty blog about cooking and living in Paris. Serve this spread with some little toasts or crostini (store-bought or homemade), or with crackers.

Time: 30 minutes make. 2 hours to chill. 

• 250g (8 ounce) piece of salmon, preferably wild, bones removed
• 125g (4 ounces) smoked salmon
• 5 tablespoons salted butter at room temperature
• 1 tablespoon olive oil 
• 1½ tablespoons fresh lemon juice 
• 2 tablespoons chopped chives
• ¼ teaspoon chili powder or smoke paprika (or pepper, in a pinch)

1. Begin by steaming the salmon. Heat a couple inches of water in a pot with a lid until boiling. Lightly salt the fresh salmon on each side, then place on steamer and put it in the pot to steam for about 8 minutes or until just cooked through. Don’t be shy, you can stick your knife in it and peak if you’re in doubt. It’s all going to get mashed up soon anyways. Be careful not to overcook. 
2. When the salmon is done, remove from heat and let cool.
3. While the salmon is cooling, chop the smoked salmon into small pieces by first cutting it into long strips, then by chopping each strip across into 1-2 cm pieces.
4. Put the butter and olive oil in a bowl and mash up. if your butter isn’t warm enough then you’ll end up with butter chunks in your spread. Do yourself a favor and take it out of the fridge even the night before so it’s nice and mixable. 
5. Mix in the lemon juice, chives, and smoked salmon. 
6. Remove the skin from the salmon and flake it up into the smoked salmon mixture. Add the chili powder and mix well. 
7. Refrigerate for 2 hours or up to 2 days, allowing to come up to room temperature before serving so it’s nice and spreadable. Check for seasoning before you serve it; I think it’s a good idea to try it on whatever cracker or toast you’re serving it on as it can be rather salty.

by Trish

Wanna bring the bayou to your apartment without having to flood the place? po’ boy sandwiches are your answer! A Louisiana staple, po’ boys are fried seafood on a hoagie with lettuce, tomatoes, and mayo. Adding to the po’ boy sandwich is supposedly heresy, in which case I should warn you that this post is sacrilege. I chose to pan fry the shrimp and swapped out regular mayo for a chipotle variety. Authentic it is not. But really tasty? That it certainly is.

Chipotle mayo managed to sneak its way onto this sandwich because it’s been my favorite condiment of the summer. It’s tangy and spicy, truly addictive. It’s great on burgers or pulled pork sandwiches, and can stand alone as a dip for chips and veggies. I bought a plastic squeeze bottle, filled it with the stuff, and since that day it’s found its way onto nearly everything.

When buying shrimp you’ll often notice numbers on the bag, such as 41/50 or 16/20. This isn’t the number of shrimp in the bag though. It’s the average number of shrimp you’ll get in a pound of the given size. Thus, the lower the number, the bigger the shrimp because you’re getting fewer shrimp for the same weight. Because I don’t like paying the premium for bigger shrimp, I usually stick to the 41/50 or 31/40 bags. For this recipe in particular, you don’t want to go too big with the shrimp or the sandwich will be hard to eat.

Shrimp Po’ Boys

This creole seasoning recipe makes a lot, but you can add it to just about anything. Mine has since ended up on ribs, roasted potatoes, and in a barbecue sauce. Go nuts. I used a mixture of hot paprika and smoked paprika, either is fine, but scale back the cayenne if you go with the hot stuff.

Time: 30 minutes (including making the rub and chipotle mayo)
Makes 2 sandwiches

Creole Seasoning

• 2 1/2 teaspoons paprika 
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 2 teaspoons garlic powder 
• 1 teaspoons black pepper
• 1 teaspoons cayenne 
• 1 teaspoons dried oregano
• 1 teaspoons dried thyme

Chipotle Mayo

• 1 cup Hellmans mayonnaise (or another quality mayo)
• 2 chipotles from a can, finely chopped
• I clove garlic, minced
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

1. Combine all ingredients in a bowl. You can add more of the liquid from the can of chipotles for a spicier spread, or add more mayo to tone it down. Store in the fridge. 

Shrimp Po’ Boy

• 1/2 pound raw shrimp, tails and shells removed
• Creole seasoning (recipe above)
• 1/4 cup of cornmeal
• Vegetable oil for cooking
• 2 soft hoagie rolls, or hot dog rolls
• 1 ripe tomato
• 1 cup ice berg lettuce
• Chipotle mayo (recipe above)

1. Make the chipotle mayo and creole seasoning, set aside. 
2. Thinly slice the tomato. Shred or chop up the lettuce. 
3. Preheat a couple of tablespoons of oil in pan over medium. Toss the shrimp with a couple of tablespoons of the creole seasoning until coated, then add the cornmeal and toss again. When the pan is hot, shake off the excess corn meal and add them to the pan. The shrimp should sizzle when they touch the hot surface. Depending on the size of your shrimp you may have to cook them in two batches.
4. Cook 1-2 minutes per side. The shrimp will cook very quickly, careful not to overcook them! If in doubt, cut one shrimp open to make sure it’s cooked all the way through. Remove from heat.
5. To assemble: Put a healthy slather of chipotle mayo on each side of the bun. Nicely line one side with tomatoes, then some lettuce. Pile on as many shrimp as the bun can hold, then a couple more.

I only had 4 shrimp on this sandwich so the pictures would be pretty, but before I scarfed it down I totally added a couple more. It’s supposed to be messy!

by Trish

If you see nothing wrong with the above cupcake, then congratulations - you’re a mature human being. I, however, am not. What do I think about when I see the round, brown, swirly pile on that cupcake? I’ll give you a hint: it ain’t frosting. 

Maybe the bakery I got this cupcake from is just naive, but strangely enough the turd-cake is turning up at many different shops. I can only assume the baker thought to themselves, “I’ll just use this round tip to pipe on the frosting really neatly, it will be so cute!” Well you know what? It’s not cute. And the sprinkles aren’t helping the cause.

So, all you home bakers out there, heed my advice. When it comes to chocolate frosting (or peanut butter frosting, really any shade of brown) skip the round tip on the pastry bag. Use a star tip, use a spatula, use anything else!. Unless of course you’re making these for someone you dislike, in which case swirl away. 

And for the record, I still ate that cupcake. I just would have preferred not to be reminded of what it was destined to become before I ate it…

by Trish

I was delighted to stumble across this special edition of Dinosaur Comics done for Saveur Magazine where T-Rex shares his recipe for chili. (Click the comic for a larger version.) If you’re new to Dinosaur Comics, it’s a web strip that features the same six static panels with different text each day. It’s funny, so you should read it!

Apparently T-Rex makes vegetarian chili!?!?!

Check out more of Dinosaur Comics here.

via Saveur

by Trish

This little beauty of a salad is the perfect light and quick dinner for one. It comes together quickly, is delicious and healthy, and doesn’t require much more than boiling a pot of water. You can also use just about anything sitting around your fridge. It would be great with beets and goat cheese, leftover chicken or salmon, nuts or any sort of cheese you have. Just don’t skip the egg even though it may seem odd. It really goes well with the salty prosciutto, cheese, and lemon.

Arugula Salad with Poached Egg

Time: 15 minutes

The measurements for this recipe are left vague on purpose. Rummage through your fridge and pull out whatever cheese and bits of meat you have, it will work just fine. Use as much or as little arugula as you feel like eating. Try making the dressing in the bottom of your salad bowl to save washing a dish. 

• 2 cups arugula (roughly)
• 2 slices of prosciutto 
• few curls of parmesan or whatever cheese is handy
• squeeze of fresh lemon juice
• couple of tablespoons really nice olive oil
• squeeze of dijon or grainy mustard
• salt and pepper
• 1 egg
• splash of white vinegar

1. In a small saucepan, heat a few inches of water over high heat.
2. In a small bowl, squeeze about tablespoon of lemon. Add a small squeeze of mustard (about the size of a dime) and some salt and pepper. Give it a little mix. 
3. Add a couple of tablespoons of olive oil to the lemon. The rough ratio is two parts oil to one part lemon, you can just eyeball it. Give it a little mix and taste it, it should be a bit strong. Add more salt/pepper/mustard to taste. 
4. Assemble the rest of your salad ingredients (prosciutto, cheese, etc) and rough chop them into bite sizedpieces.
5. Back to the boiling water: it should have bubbles forming on the bottom and gently simmering, you don’t want a rolling boil. Add a splash of vinegar to the water, this supposedly helps the whites stay together. Crack the egg into a small bowl and gently lower it into the water. Cook for 3-5 minutes, depending on how soft you like your egg. Retrieve the egg from the water with a slotted spoon and set aside while you assemble your salad. 
6. In a medium bowl, combine the arugula, cheese, prosciutto, and enough dressing to moisten the leaves. Add the egg on top. A nice sprinkle of salt and pepper finishes it off.

by Andrew

The next time you’re hosting a birthday party for kids, forget about hiring a clown to make balloon animals. Instead, hire yourself a talented chef to twist together these adorable sausage animals. There’s no risk of them popping, which usually results in crying and wailing, though wrangling them away from tiny hands, slapping them on the bbq and then serving them up on paper plates could be a little traumatic now that I think of it. Traumatic… but still delicious!

Eduardo Alessi’s Salsicciacane

by Andrew

Most quests are undertaken with a definite goal or ending in mind. But I have a quest that I hope never ends. It’s to find the perfect pulled pork sandwich, and I sincerely hope I never, ever find it. With this quest the hunt is far more enjoyable than the ultimate goal I think. Besides, if and when I do find the perfect pulled pork sandwich it means I no longer have a reason to sample the offerings from other contenders any more. And that’s just a sad thought.

Thankfully, at this point my quest is far from over, and a few months ago, actually quite a few months ago, I tried the pulled pork sandwich from Murray Street in Ottawa, Ontario, on Trish’s recommendation. She certainly knows her pulled pork, having created some impressive batches in the past, so it didn’t take much convincing to get me to try theirs out during a visit to Canada’s capital city.

If the quest for the perfect pulled pork sandwich was based on presentation alone, Murray Street’s would certainly be hard to beat. It’s served on its own wooden cutting board, with a small pot of what were probably the best baked beans I’ve ever had. They were very sweet and rich, which I prefer, and they came in a small cast iron pot that kept them piping hot throughout the entire lunch. Mine disappeared pretty quickly, and had they been served by the gallon in a giant wooden barrel, I’m pretty sure I would have still made short work of them.

As for the pulled pork? Definitely delicious, with a very original presentation. The poppy and sesame seed covered loaf it was served on was almost an experience unto itself, not just a means of getting the pulled pork from my plate to my mouth sans utensils. And the subtle toppings, including melted cheddar cheese and pickled onions, were a nice addition.

But the pulled pork was certainly the star of this plate, err- board, and was pleasantly moist, without the bbq sauce being too runny. Not to say a lot of runny bbq sauce is a bad thing on a ‘pp’ sandwich, I just don’t think it would have worked for this presentation. Now was it the ‘perfect’ pulled pork sandwich? I wouldn’t go that far. It definitely did a lot of things right, and given the restaurant’s limited menu it’s clearly a dish they’ve spent some well appropriated time developing. I guess overall I don’t mind getting a little messy when it comes to eating pulled pork (bbq is best when you get your fingers a little dirty) and Murray Street’s seems just a touch more upscale than what I’m after. But were I stopping in for lunch while at work, I’d certainly appreciate enjoying a great ‘pp’ sandwich without returning to work covered in sauce. (Also, not necessarily always a bad thing.)

Murray Street - 110 Murray Street, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

by Trish

Meet the EcoTensil, a fully biodegradable paper utensil. This little bit of paper can be folded into a spoon-like shape and is aimed at replacing the non-biodegradable plastic tester spoons found at most ice cream stands. Turns out those plastic spoons take hundreds of years to break down in landfills, while the EcoTensil will break down in mere weeks. Plus, because they’re flat and flimsy, they’re cheap to ship. 

I suppose it’s a good idea, assuming it’s rigid enough to actually scoop ice cream. Frankly, I’m skeptical. Ice cream is pretty hard (ask anyone who’s spent a summer scooping it) and I don’t see how a thin piece of paper could do the same job as hard plastic.

Assuming it does work, it still feels like a rather trivial advancement in the grand scheme of the ‘green’ movement. Did wanting to sample three different kinds of overpriced gourmet ice cream make me a bad person? Was I actually ruining the environment with each tiny pink spoonful of indecision? I guess now with the EcoTensil I don’t need to feel guilty about it, even though I never did. 

EcoTensils via Cool Hunting.

by Andrew

There are a lot of basic skills an aspiring chef should learn. Knife and chopping techniques, how to perfectly cook pasta and most importantly; how to carve Darth Vader from 3 large carrots. Thankfully that last one is covered by this tutorial posted over on My Sushi World. Now all you need is a step-by-step guide on creating a pickled radish Obi-Wan Kenobi and your next sushi platter will be out of this world. Or more specifically, in a galaxy far, far away.

My Sushi World - How to make a Carrot Darth vader

Added: Also, this Darth Vader roll, made from rice, egg and eel is pretty great too.